Nostalgic

So today I looked up the word nostalgic. As it turns out, I always had the wrong meaning in that word in my head. I always thought it was like the yearning of thinking or being thoughtful. Turns out its more along the lines of thinking of your past, and reminiscing on past memories. Guess I've been using that word wrong my entire life... But hey! Nothing new there. The thing is, I'm nostalgic a lot of the time. I know that is not a very good thing, cause people always say not to look to your past but instead look towards your future. Which for me, the future is a scary place and it's not really something I'm all to excited about. College, moving out, figuring out what I'm going to do with the rest if my life. I'm not exactly thrilled to say the least. It's not like I can ignore it all together, but I have found the past to be a comforting place. Actually that's partially a lie, the past sucks sometimes. But yet we need it, cause without our past we would never have gotten to where we are today. It makes us who we are, as awful as it was at times. I'm not particularly proud of my past, if I'm being completely honest here but I think over this past year I have learned to except it more. There comes a point where it gets unhealthy to think about your past, those are the times you wallow at your mistakes a d wish and pray that you could have a redo. But reality check, you can't. No matter how badly you want too, and so what then do you do with your mistakes? You turn then into a new and better Rachael, or who ever you may be. There comes a time when you need to stop wallowing and instead you need to laugh. Laugh at your mistakes, laugh at the good memories, and laugh at everything that make you who you are today. Because you are not you without your past, but also without your future. I guess the moral of this story/posty thing is that I have finally been able to except my past and to move forward with it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger eh? :P so head up high and look out future, b/c here I come whether you want me or not. I'm finally ready.

Ps. I took this picture today as I was stopped at a stop sign near my house. It's what really got me thinking. "There's always a light at the end of the tunnel." Or well road in this case.